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Herstories: Learning to Be Free
When I first realized what it meant to be a woman, it was a little too late. It took me a lot longer to learn that my feminine status was as important as any male status, and I encountered a lot of rough roads to learn that lesson.
When I was fourteen, I began a relationship with my first "real boyfriend". I thought it was great and he was really good to me.
That worked for the first three months of our relationship. Then the fighting began. First it was verbal, a couple of insults thrown back and forth, but then it became serious. He began to hit me and the arguments would escalate into full blown boxing matches.
I didn't think much of this behaviour and thought it was normal. He was very possessive of me and didn't like it when I talked with other guys or even hung out with my friends, but this made me feel wanted and special.
I knew I had a serious problem when he started hitting me for no apparent reason and the final straw came when he threw me down on a glass table. My head went through the glass and I had a mild concussion.
He apologized profusely, and I wanted to believe that it would never happen again, but I had heard those promises before and decided it was time to leave.
What surprises me now is that it wasn't the last abusive relationship I had. I seemed to gravitate towards abusive relationships after that and got caught up in these vicious cycles which would always end up with me being hurt physically and emotionally.
Then one day, I realized that by letting these men treat me like their punching bag, I was more or less condoning violence towards women everywhere and that was one thing I did not want to take responsibility for.
From that point on, I ended all relationships I felt were getting a little too rough in any way, and I encouraged all of my girlfriends to do the same. When I see the accomplishments women have made throughout history and what they are accomplishing today, it's a wonder how anyone can show them anything but their utmost respect and admiration.
I know I do and I have never felt more proud to be a woman than I do today.
- Fiona
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