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Herstories: Living alone in Canada
My family lives in Hong Kong and I live in Canada. The distance seems natural to me, though most people wonder why I want to live here alone. So I asked myself why. The reason became clear to me during my last several visits to Hong Kong.
There are two issues my family is very concerned about - my weight and if there is a man in my life.
For the weight issue, sometimes I do wish I can lose weight so they won't talk about it so much. At a usual family get-together, there would be long intense discussions about how I should lose the weight. My sister-in-law would suggest the Atkins diet, my aunt would say perhaps I ate too much chocolates. I feel like hiding under the dinner table.
With the man in my life issue, I am totally detached and can almost say it doesn't affect me at all. I say 'almost' because during my last visit, my dad questioned me everyday, until I had to ask him to stop on the sixth day. I can't change what they think, and I can understand why they are worried but I refuse to accept that there should be a deadline for marriage, or that a woman's life isn't complete unless there is a man in her life. Even though I am in the greatest relationship I have ever had, it does not make-up my whole identity as an individual.
Their concerns reflect what they expect of me. In a way, they don't believe I should become more than a slim woman who has a man. For many years, I didn't think I could accomplish more either. Now at the age of 32, I have started to unlearn these expectations, restrictions and values and try to live my life fully to my own potentials.
I have heard people say life is over when you hit the big 3-0. My life is just beginning and I expect the future to be better and more fulfilling than the last 30 years.
Erin
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